March 15, 2004
Neva Rivers on the Boardwalk in Hooper Bay.
Story and photo by Sandra Kleven
Elder counselor Neva Rivers is retiring from YKHC after 14 years as an elder counselor. She is not shy in sharing that she'll be 84 years old next month.
In 1999, I met Neva in her home village of Hooper Bay. Neva teased everyone by saying that I was her daughter. She told them she gave birth to me while away at a meeting and that she'd adopted me out. She told them I mostly resembled my father and that I'd come back at last to get acquainted with her. After that all her children called me sister and her grandchildren began to call me auntie. I recently got hold of my "mom" to talk about her retirement.
Neva's work with others always involves making a connection and forging a relationship. It also involves her sense of humor and ability to have fun. She tells fascinating stories about times that go back to the days of sod houses.
She tells about one time when all the youth were clamoring for a store. The ladies responded by making baskets and using the money to create the first store in Hooper Bay. She said later when they went to the store she'd think "We made this store from basket grass."
In her role as village counselor, Neva visits the school frequently. She said "I'd go from classroom to classroom following the grades up. I would tell them stories about when we were small." Some stories featured mice and birds. "They like these stories about little animals. They are just like a cartoon. I'd also tell them about growing up in the past."
With older children her message changed, " When I got up to the 7-year-olds I'd talk about the way I would listen to my parents and my school teachers. I'd tell them they should do all the work given to them. I tell them to listen to their teacher and try to learn a lot and when they go out -- back to their home, they should listen to their parents."
She adds "I would also tell them to stay away when the ice is young and not go around the dangerous places."
Working within the schools lays the groundwork for contact at other times when problems come up.
"My work is very hard sometimes."
When a young person has a problem, Neva would not force them to speak but would "talk to them in an easy way. Sometimes it's hard for them to bring out what is bothering them. I don't force them to talk. I start telling them stories about my life. I wait until they are relaxed. First, they will start to cry and then bring out their problems and tell everything."
Neva uses herself as an example. "I told them I did the same thing when I was a young girl or teenager like them. I'd think about the ones who helped me, like my papa. He's the one who would answer my questions. He explained everything to me."
Neva advises young people to ask for the information they need. "That's the way-- ask questions to understand what they need to learn. My parents gave me examples, to help, so I would not go astray. If I don't listen, if I go the wrong way, I will have more problems."
Her father gave her a clear message about drinking, "To me, it was very 'yucky'... I did not want that kind of stuff. I decided that I was not going to touch it in my life. He told me everything about it."
As a counselor, she read booklets about alcohol abuse and found the exact things her father told her years before.
Sometimes she hears back from those who came to her with problems. "Later--days or months--they come and thank me what I have done for them. They understand everything and get back to their normal life."
Neva continues to describe the strong influence of her father. She says "Last of all he told me is that worldly pleasure will pass away. At the Heavenly Gate the happiness will last forever. I still want to see that gate. I am looking for it. It is still in my heart."
Even though Neva is retired from her job, she says, "I still want to help anybody that asks for help. Anybody who needs me just come and talk with me."
She has enjoyed a long career of service. "I started out my work as a volunteer. I was an adult basic education teacher. I've been called to the SWANA Board. I was elected to the school board. I was secretary for the village councilman. I was a Community Health Representative for YKHC. They'd ask me to travel for meetings and schooling. I'd go to Juneau. I traveled to Anchorage to Cook Inlet--big village there. I became a VISTA volunteer. I have been here and there."
And she adds, "Even though I am 83, I can drive a big snomachine."